I’m watching the Soup right now, and can I say it’s totally distracting? Joel McHale is the man! Seriously, if you think the whole celebrity cult world is ridiculous, you should be watching the Soup on the E! network. Even the husband likes it! Oops…maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that so freely. Sorry hubby! But it’s true!
Okay so I know I haven’t been on FB in a while so I thought I would give you all a blog post. I haven’t written one in so long! I love blogging, I just don’t have time for it. Well I do, but I have this weird thing where I will only do certain things when no one is around.
Cleaning is one of them. If my husband is around, I absolutely will not clean anything. Weird I know. I think it stems of years of harassment from my dad telling me I clean wrong. Not that I’m bitter or anything. Much. Love you daddy!
Writing is another. For some reason I can’t write when my husband is around. I have no idea why about that one. It’s not like I was writing while my dad was telling me “no you have to write up and down, not side to side”, or “you need to rinse your writing out longer, otherwise it will come out spotty”. So I can’t blame that on my dad. I’m sure he feels really sad about that, since I blame him for so many things. :)
Seriously…my dad can be a little Mommy Dearest when he puts his mind to it. Not so much any more, but definitely growing up. I guess having two kids who tried everything they could to make his life harder had something to do with it. See daddy, some things were my fault just as much as they were yours.
(Mommy Dearest in her famous wire hangers scene. Me and my brother turned my dad into this. Now imagine my dad with a mud mask and a wire hanger. That image is going to be in my brain for a while. :) )
So…in short I have to be alone while I write and I’m rarely alone. Not that I mind, I love hanging out with the husband. One of the reasons I knew it was meant to be is he is one of the only people…scratch that…he is the only person…that I can hang out with all day every day and not need my alone time after (I’m as introverted as Fred Tate of Little Man Tate fame).
(Really. Just by looking at him you know he is one serious introvert. Also, this is one kind of disturbed movie.)
Anyone who has lived with me could tell you this. After a couple of days of no alone time I turn into a monster.
(Me. In college. Just wanting to be left alone.)
(My senior yr roommate, Jen, after getting sick of all my “I just want to be left alone” speeches. I don’t blame her.)(Oh and this picture is posted without her permission. Sorry, Jen! Hope you don’t mind, hehe).
All that to say, I haven’t blogged in a while. And I owe you all one.
So I realized that I committed a major facebook faux pas. I told my whole FB friend world that I had something wrong with me, and I never posted the conclusion. The horror! I should be shot.
Hopefully you shoot me with silly string, and not anything more dangerous. Like a potato gun.
(This is mainly for my dad’s benefit. Don’t ask. It’s a dad-daughter thing. Dad, get a load of this one! Do you think the Army would loan it to us?!)
So anyway, a while back I had some stomach troubles. I was nauseous every time I ate. Then I realized it wasn’t everything I ate. Just everything with gluten in it. Gluten, for those who don’t know, is wheat, rye, and barley. So basically anything that comes from a wheat stalk. And even more basically…it’s...in...ev...ery...thing. Hence why I felt sick while I ate.
So I went to the GI Specialist and they said it could be Celiac’s but since, by the time the appointment rolled around (TWO MONTHS after my original doctor’s appointment, what is wrong with America?!), I was avoiding gluten like the plague, so they couldn’t test me. She said if I wanted to eat wheat she could test me but hello that is soooo not worth it.
And since then, I triiieddd to eat gluten a couple of times (in the form of Tripoli pizza and Crispelli’s…if I’m going to get a stomach-ache I’m gonna have fun doing it!)
(Look at the Tripoli goodness of it all. How could you resist? I know I can’t! Even with the gluten allergy!)
So…basically…I have no idea why I can’t eat anything with gluten in it. But I know if I do eat it, I get some nausea, followed by some major brain fogginess and fatigue. So eating gluten = I turn into a gluten zombie.
I just hope I don’t look like this:
(I typed “gluten zombie” into google image and this is what turns up. Awesome!)
So in conclusion, I’ve stopped eating anything with gluten in it. Thank you, God, for making chocolate and ice cream gluten free, because I don’t know what I’d do without any form of junk food!
(MmmmmMMm…Godiva…*drools a little*. You know my birthday’s coming up. Hint hint!)
But still, despite my chocolate and ice cream binges (although I don’t know if it’s called a “binge” if it happens every day, but whatever), I’ve lost a good deal of weight. I can’t tell you how much because we don’t have a scale. Not because we’re elitist and are against scales (although truth be told I am kind of against scales), but because our apartment is just slightly at a tilt.
Not like Lily and Marshall’s apartment…darn! I tried to find a picture of it but google let me down. But the reference is from How I Met Your Mother.
But nevertheless, our apartment is still slightly slanted, meaning when we did buy a scale, it gave a different weight measurement depending on where it was. Needless to say, we end up placing it where we consistently weighed the least. Then never used it again. So we threw it out.
But I do know I’ve dropped close to two sizes already, and it doesn’t look like I’m stopping any time soon. So that’s good. Kind of like an involuntary diet. Because everyone knows that if I didn’t have heavy duty side effects, I’d still be eating stuff with gluten. I miss pizza. And subs. And fresh italian bread.
Although they DO have gluten free brownies and cake:
(Mmmm brownies and cupcakes. But I warn you, do not, under any circumstances, get the cookies. But everything else tastes really yummy!)
So it’s not so bad.
Okay so I’m very bad at segues…so I’m just going to transition to my appointment with the dentist. Although that is kind of a segue…eating crap like cookies and brownies and candy, and then going to the dentist…
So my husband asked that for our anniversary, we would both go to the dentist. Yes, I know, we are weird. Him especially, because seriously, who asks to go to the dentist if they don’t have to? The answer: my husband.
I’m not the biggest fan of the dentist. In fact, I haven’t gone in like 7 years. It may or may not have to do with the fact that the last time I was there I had my braces taken off, and had 6 cavities…don’t judge…and I had to go back 6 times because they wouldn’t do it all at once no matter how much I begged. My fear of the dentist may have something to do with that.
That and I always fear that I’ll get a dentist like this one:
(This image makes me want to run away and hide under my covers.)
So let just say, it didn’t help that while I was at the dentist (which was like a week ago…even though our anniversary is in July…because I said I would go…I didn’t say I would put it off for as long as possible and hope the husband would forget about it...not unlike my required PE credits at Gordon College), a little girl no more than 5 was all happy about being at the dentist and was having fun. It was like she knew I was scared and wanted to rub it in.
(Show off.)
Whereas I was in my seat, clutching the armrests, praying to God that if he would just make this as quick and painless as possible, I promise I wouldn’t eat any more chocolate for the rest of my life (I say some crazy things when I'm stressed).
(Imagine this times ten. That’s me.)
My husband didn’t tease me about this…no not at all…ya right. But he DID offer to come into the dentist’s office with me, which was sweet, but didn’t make me feel at all like the big baby that I was.
And while I was waiting they made me fill out all these horrible forms, so I thought I’d have some fun with them.
How long has been since your last visit? So long ago that you will scold me for not going more often.
How often do you floss? N/A
Do you have any sensitivity in your teeth? Which ones? Yes. All of them. Go gentle.
Anything else we should know? I am here against my will. My husband’s making me. Be nice to me or I’ll run away.
Things like that. They got a laugh about it. You just know they went home to their respective families and said something like “we had this twenty something girl come into the office today who came as an anniversary gift her husband, isn’t that so sweet? …and she was more scared than a little 5 year old girl!”
But anyway…since this is starting to become a long post…let me just say that it was not quick, and it was not painless, so I’ve been having plenty of God’s-wrath-free chocolate since then.
(Mmmm…more Godiva…less dentist visits please)
But I did walk away with three more visits to the dentist. I told my husband he got three times the gift. And I’ve been flossing and mouth washing ever since.
Here’s to hoping you have better luck with your dentist!
